Ringer

I feel like I've been through the ringer, which is perhaps an over-reaction, but that's how I feel.

In June I received a request to edit and resubmit my young adult manuscript to a independent publisher. I spent three months working on the edits, trying to address the comments made and, in general, improve my manuscript. I resubmitted my work just before Andrew and I hit the Juan de Fuca trail in August. I spent much of my vacation checking my email in anticipation of the response. Then it came: still not quite right, keep trying, if you wish, resubmit when you're done.

Okay. Fine. I've spent the last month trying to 'trim the fat' as it were, from my manuscript. Meanwhile, Andrew kept suggesting I talk to the U of A writer in residence. Okay. Fine. I caved. I made an appointment. I need to make sure I have it right this time before resubmitting.

The advice from the writer in residence was not what I'd been hoping for. Actually, it was somewhat opposite to what I'd been told by the independent publisher. The writer in residence doesn't think Nora herself is 'unique' enough (NOTE: not that the story/writing isn't good enough). Not only is that heartbreaking (or at least heart-cracking), it doesn't really help me. To me Nora IS unique. I wrote her. I think with all her flaws she's great and interesting. How am I suppose to make her more special?

I don't know what to do. I'm being told that what I've written is pretty good, just not good enough and I don't know how to fix it. Sure, I could try to send it off to another publisher or agent in the hopes that they'll see things differently, but I feel like that method is akin to a patient diagnosed with terminal cancer, who doesn't want to face the facts so just keeps seeing different doctors in the hopes that someone will tell them differently. I have to do something, except I don't know what or how, and I generally just feel small, weak, and lost.

I'm not asking for help or suggestions, or pity, I'm just stating how I feel. I'll figure something out at some point.

Ciao,

Andrea