Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Character flaws: It's not you, it's totally me, Part 2

I can be jealous.

Not-'You better run for your life if you can little girl,
hide your head in the sand little girl,
catch you with another man,
that's the end, little girl' (Run for your Life, Rubber Soul)-jealous.*

I'm pretty un-jealous when it comes to other women interacting with Andrew. I'm sure many scorned women have said so before, but I know my husband and I'm not worried. Goodness gracious, some of the conversations that go on with our friends at aerials, they can be... ...interesting, and only okay among friends you're comfortable with. Jealousy in love is not my problem.

I get jealous over abilities, achievements, and opportunities. Does that make sense? Let me explain.

1) Someone shows up with a skill or ability similar to my own, but can do something better, or knows an extra trick, I feel jealous. This could be in aerials, cake decorating, music, writing, etc.

2) Someone wins some sort of award or recognition for something similar to what I do, I feel jealous. In high school the local paper reported on the one act plays put on by the various schools. They acknowledge a student from another school who wrote, directed and acted in their own play. I had done the same that year, but received no recognition, I was pretty jealous at the time.

3) Someone is given the opportunity to go to a conference, workshop, or even just to go on trip, and I do not, I feel jealous. This could be related to my work, or just amongst friends and family, etc.

So, what can I do about this? It's a bit hard to practice away jealousy, but I suppose what I can practice is tolerance and acceptance. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade when they have a reason to celebrate, or are deserving of praise. Perhaps what I can try to do make an conscious effort to congratulate, or engage in discussion about the thing I am jealous about (as a way of showing interest).

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.
~Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale


*Andrew HATES that song and always asks me to skip it if Rubber Soul is playing--I can't say it's my favourite Beatles tune, either.)

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