SWOT Analysis: the O and T part

After a longer hiatus than intended, I now present the second half of my SWOT Analysis.

Opportunities:
What are the [business] personal goals you are currently working towards?

Goal: As I have said, I am trying to find satisfaction in my work life. Or perhaps, more accurately, the right amount of satisfaction in my work life.*$ I'm trying to determine if I should return to a 'regular' job, or go full-force into a 'creative' job.

How could I improve myself?

Aerials: Take more teach trainings to improve my skills as an instructor. I'm hoping to take a teacher training course this summer, which will build on the previous two I've taken. I could also look into flexibility workshops (so I can give students safe advice on stretching), or possibly yoga workshops (to improve my knowledge of body mechanics).

I would also like to be a better aerialist in general. Watching my daughter take classes in gymnastics and swimming (even though classes at this age level [3.5 years] are very basic) I miss having semi-regular instruction. I need someone to give me reminders about what my toes are doing (especially the left ones), or whether or not my legs are straight.

Writing: I really ought to get involved in some kind of writing group if I'm going to get back at it. I can't operate in silo. As much as I like to work alone, I need feedback and I need editing. I also need to learn how to better market my self-published books.

Librarian/Research Positions: If I want to get back into librarianship, I probably need to take a course or two. Some topics that occur to me as useful or potentially interesting are: database management, information literacy, some kind of course on reference librarianship, or maybe something on social media use. If I decided to take the research route, my current job is probably doing a decent job at giving me recent, updated skills.

Other: I feel like workshops or courses in a variety of computer-related skills such as social media use, and software like Adobe, or some other graphics-type program couldn't hurt. I can make a passable (if barely) flyer or fact sheet, or book cover, in Microsoft Publisher, but it's a laborious process. I think I would enjoy actually knowing how to use such a program and having some basic knowledge of this would probably make me more appealing in the work force.

As I take it, the Opportunities part is mostly about how I would like to improve myself to make myself better at whatever job/career path I choose. In an ideal world, I would do all the things listed above, be a better aerialist, aerial instructor, writer, and creator of media. Interestingly, being a better librarian or researcher didn't immediately fit into that previously sentence (and not because I think I'm amazing in these areas).

* I'm hoping to do a post in the near future about about the complex feelings and thoughts I have to confront when I'm on (or even thinking about) my day job.
$ Having written this sentence, I wonder if I also need to work on re-framing what I consider to be work satisfaction. Food for thought. Chomp, chomp.

Threats:
What obstacles do you face?

Me.

I could end it there, but that's not very thorough.

I am unable to commit to any one decision, meaning I'm trying to juggle too many things. I'm trying to do aerials (training, stretching, learning new things, teaching), write, work a day job (which could be up to 21 hours a week), help manage my household, and be the primary care giver to my daughter. Trying to balance all these things means I'm not giving as much as I could, or should, to any one thing. Further, it means I'm not particularly good at any of these things.

Other questions to consider in this category, don't translate quite so well to my personal exploration, since they're looking at the strengths of Competitors, and what's going on in the Industry/Economy. At least I don't think the translate, or maybe I'm simply getting tired of SWOT Analysis and don't want to think about these questions anymore. Perhaps the questions of competitors and industry/economy will make more sense once I'd decided what path I want to pursue.

Overall, I think I am my biggest threat. I'm so concerned about making the wrong choice that it leads me to make no choice. And by not making a choice, trying to make do by juggling multiple options, is leaving me tired and stressed, and at least moderately unhappy.

Where does this leave me? I think another post is yet required to finish this analysis. I've put down a lot of thoughts and I need to think about this further.

Ciao,

Andrea

A selfie from this weekend (May 26th), prior to a 'rare' public performance at the Hohner Porch Party.

One month in: What have I learned in my process of self-reflection?

Honestly, I haven't really learned anything new. Nor have I come closer to making a decision about my life (hence why I intend this to be a multi-month process).

For the month of January I took a pretty standard approach to decision making.

Step 1: Identify the decision to be made
What kind of career or job do I want to have, or what kind of career or job do I think would make me most happy?

I wonder if this is an over simplification of the decision to be made, or perhaps, I'm trying to put this decision into too simple of terms. It's what I've decided to build on, which might get hashed out better in subsequent months and styles of decision making.

Step 2: Identify alternatives
As I see it, I have 2 paths I can follow.

Librarianship/Research: For the purpose of this exercise I see librarianship and research as the same option, or that they have the same value. Both represent the more 'standard' job. Both would likely be reasonably steady hours, greater pay, and rely on my degree and work experience. In a year's time I'd be looking into courses on stats, or research methods, or librarian-related courses to improve my job prospects.

Aerials/Writing: Unlike the above, these are not exactly the same job, but I feel like to do one, it might require the other because there isn't a lot of money to be made at either. This would definitely be the path of the artist. In year 2 of this process I'd be focusing on taking further aerial teacher training, and figuring out how to market my current books, while writing a new one.

Step 3: Identify uncertainties
One of the biggest problems I have is coming to peace with my level of income and my contribution to the Milne household. I have a lot of wants which require money: nice clothing, nice house, fun vacations, good food, good wine, a car in good working order.

If I choose the librarian/research path, my income won't be much of an uncertainty, but it's a huge one if I choose the aerials/writer path.

Building on this is, what is it that makes me happy? A small part of me thinks (or maybe just imagines), if I figure out what will make me happy, the choice of career will become obvious. Some beacon will shine out of the fog of my life and tell me what I'm supposed to do with myself. Then the whole income level won't matter because I'll be happy, and isn't that the most important thing in life?

Step 4: Gather relevant information
I took this stage as coming up with a list of pros and cons. I repeated this exercise on a couple of different nights, thinking I might have slightly different insights on different nights, then compared what I came up with.

Elements I would consider important in a job:

• Ability to be physically active.
• Ability to have creative outlets.
• Some flexibility in hours to allow for: being available to Ruth if she needs me during the day; occasionally volunteering with a charity.
• Yet some consistent number of hours a week (anywhere between 15 and 20, I think).
• If not receiving benefits, being paid sufficiently to offset not having them.

Elements I would dislike in a job: (which may basically be the opposite of my list of pros)

• Inconsistent hours or schedule OR too ridged a schedule interfering with the amount of time I can spend with Ruth and Andrew.
• A desk job where I sit all day.
• No opportunities to exercise my creativity.
• Low/little income, and/or no benefits.
• Too much time spent alone OR little social interaction.

Step 5: Make a decision

As I stated above, I wasn't necessarily expecting to come out of this single exercise with a final decision. I can't deny, however, certain elements: physical activeness; creativity; flexibility; at least some interaction with others, are jumping out at me.

You would think at this point the signs would be pretty clear, but there's that uncertainty I identified. How much or little income am I comfortable with? That is what I need to figure out.

I had a dream last night (after having written the bulk of this blog post) that seemed aptly timed (and rather suggestive):

I was at Base Camp at Mount Everest. Andrew and Ruth were with me to wish me luck, but I was getting cold feet. I wasn't sure I wanted to go on the climb (the success rate is low, many people die). Additionally, I was supposed to go to Australia (I'm not sure where this came from) after I was finished the climb, meaning I wasn't going to see Andrew and Ruth for weeks. In the end, I decided to stay at the base of Mount Everest, to spend time with my husband and daughter.

A much smaller 'mount' I actually scaled. The Notch, in Jasper National Park, on the Jasper Skyline Trail.

I still remember worrying as we climbed The Notch that I had gotten us into something I shouldn't have, as Andrew was suffering from a bad head cold at the time.

That was a heck of a day, 20+ km, 3 mountain passages.

Until next time.

Ciao,

Andrea

I'm 32 years old and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up, Part 2

I was going to continue on my 'work' series of posts with an explanation of what I do now, then I thought I might want to describe what I've done in the past to put some perspective on things. I've had a number of different jobs and surprisingly I remember most of them; therefore, before I move forward, I'm going to go back.

1) I sorted the mail at the Embro post office every day after school. This job may not have been legit, but it's too late for that. I started sometime late in Grade 8, and kept it up for two years.

2) I was a gas station attendant at one of the full-serve Essos in Woodstock. The shifts were primarily on weekends and it helped pay for my first year in University, but that's about all I can say for it. I didn't really get along with many of the people I worked with, it sucked in the winter (cold and slushy), and it was hot the summer.

3) The summer after high school was my first stint as a factory worker. My dad got me a job in the factory of the company he worked for. It was hot and loud and boring, but it paid and it meant I didn't have to sink into debt in my first year away from home.

4) After my failed year of biology at the University of Waterloo I had an empty bank account, and returned to the company my dad worked for but, instead of the factory I went into the office. I answered phones and did some other secretarial sort of things, but that ended half way through the summer as I was only filling in for someone on medical leave. Then I went to work in the office of a trucking company in Woodstock, which was even less exciting then the first half of my summer. The only bonus there was that I could sometimes take my lunch down at the Woodstock cow where one of my friends worked.

5) I spent two summers in a foundry that made brake routers. That job really sucked (even hotter and louder than the first factory), but it paid shockingly well for what I did--often standing and watching routers pass by on a conveyor belt. I also got my most interesting scar from this job (in a place I can't show anyone) from a stray fleck of molten iron.

6) The last summer before I graduated with my mostly useless nursing degree I worked as a personal support worker in a nursing home. I've often commented that due to this job, I'll have to change the diapers of more than one child to overbalance the ratio of adult to infant diapers I've changed in my life. 'Nuff said.

7) After graduating from nursing I took on a variety of small jobs such as officer worker (back in my dad's office), retail employee, waitress, and theatre usher. None of these were particularly meaningful, although I suppose none of them were terrible either.

8) Finally, I came to work at my current place of employ, first as research assistant and now as a librarian, but I'll get to that.

That's it. Those are the jobs I've had in my life. I tend to stay in one place for a while, a combination of laziness and loyalty, I suppose.

"You'll be old and you never lived, and you kind of feel silly to lie down and die and to never have lived, to have been a job chaser and never have lived."
~Gertrude Stein

Ciao

I'm 32 years old and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up, Part 1

Okay. I won't actually be 32 until April.

And I guess I know what I want to do when I grow up, what I don't know is what I want to do to in order to pay the bills as I continue to age.

What I want to do is write (If this comes as a shock, you've probably never read my blog before, and you probably don't know me at all, in which case...please, read my blog. If you're an agent or editor, and aren't a figment of my imagination, please contact me, I have manuscripts to sell). The problem with writing of course, is that unless your JK Rowling, or Neil Gaiman, or Margaret Atwood, or some other notable figure, you probably can't make a living off your work.

The other problem is, I like having clean, safe housing, a healthy bank account, RRSPs, health benefits, insurance, etc.

If I could do without the latter I might be able to indulge/humor myself by working some quirky part time job that pays little, but give me lots of time to write. But I can't. My father was an accountant. Apparently my parents paid off their first house in 4 years, the second (much larger) in 12 years, and they haven't even begun to dip into my Dad's RRSP, even though he retired...3, 4 years ago? Therefore, I have a few grains of financial responsibility deeply seeded inside me, and my desire for financial stability supersedes the desire to have unlimited writing time.

As of late, with Andrew nearing the completion of his PhD, I've been thinking more about what I actually want to do for work. I've yet to come up with a clear answer. So, interspersed with my posts on discussing my character flaws, I will also investigate work. What I want to do, what I could do, and maybe what I will do.

In the meantime I will float something (without further explanation): Pain a la Panier.

“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
~Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

Ciao,

Work Woes

For the past three years I've worked at the Alberta Research Centre for Health Evidence (ARCHE). I got the job by accident, really. I applied for a job that as it turned out I wasn't qualified for. The person interviewing me happened to also be a member of ARCHE and they needed research assistants. I had the job within a couple of hours and I was to start the following week. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I'd never heard of systematic review before and I was pretty sure I was dreadfully under qualified.

Even three years later I have days where I think I'm not really qualified. My understanding of statistics is limited and I have no knowledge of epidemiology. I do have a degree in nursing, which helps a little. At least I know something of the diseases and conditions we do reviews on. I feel sometimes like I'm not meticulous enough, i.e., I'm not careful enough when I do data extraction, verification or quality assessment. It sometimes feels like I can't focus my brain enough to pick out all the minute details that other people are capable of.

Although I'm not sure I can say I've enjoyed the job, I don't dislike it. It's definitely the best job I've ever had and I've been treated pretty well as a University of Alberta employee. I've never had a problem getting time off for vacation or going home at Christmas time. I don't receive benefits but I do receive pay in lieu of. I've got some publications to my name (a review on diabetes and one on hepatitis C) and I think the research experience helped me get into library school.

However, I have felt for a long time that the job isn't quite for me. It's seven hours a day of staring at a computer screen. Reading, noting things, making decisions. Working on my own, for the most part. I feel constrained in the 8 to 4 work schedule. It doesn't allow me to be creative. On nice sunny days I often spend a little more time than I should wistfully staring out my office window at the big blue Alberta sky wishing I could be out riding my bike in the river valley, or at home writing.

I have decided this week that I'm going to start looking for a new job. There's a posting right now with the Edmonton Public Library (EPL) that I'm going to apply for. It's part time and it's over in Bonnie Doon (which would mean I'd have to drive). But, the shifts would vary and I'd get to interact with other people as a part of my job. I'm not sure what kind of chance I'd have at even getting an interview, but I'll give it a try anyway. I haven't updated my resume in three years. If this job doesn't work out, I'll keep looking. EPL, U of A. If they're still looking for students for SLIS collaborative later in the summer I might apply to that too.

We'll see.

Ciao,

Andrea